6.13.2008

21 Counts of Having Sexual Intercourse with a Minor was The Case That They Gave Me

No longer Trapped in the Closet of the Cook County Courthouse, R. Kelly was acquitted today of all charges against him related to a video tape allegedly featuring him and a 14 year old girl.

At the center of the defence's case was whether or not the man in the tape had a mole on his back, which Kelly apparently does.

Who cares? He allegedly carried around a duffel bag of sex tapes he had made. A DUFFEL BAG!

Jeebus! What's a guy gotta do to be a convicted freak show around here? Pee on a girl? Oh, wait, that wont do it either.

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